Madcap (zimdanen) wrote,

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A bunch of random junk.

Sorry in advance for the massively long post.

To start out on a light note (likely the only one in this entry) before I get into all my crap, I love my gerbil; he r teh cute! Erin and Shima agree with me on that. ^_^ He just got picked up by Loki, which is cool, though she can't move, so I'm not sure what's gonna happen with that. And if he gets hurt cuz of Jay, Jim, and Jim's gang, I will be very upset!

Forgot to mention this yesterday, but I ran my first full red light. With someone in the car. ::sigh:: Didn't even see it until way too late, and then only because Maggie mentioned it. I bet that made her esteem of my driving skill go way up. I did pretty well besides that, though, and considering I was in the van, which I dislike driving (it's big and shaky and ugh), that's pretty good. The signs in Rochester suck, though.. hard to find what you're looking for. >.< It's all a little more visible in Richmond.

Rape me
Rape me, my friend
Rape me
Rape me, again

That reminds me of something that happened to Maggie a while ago, while we were still going out.. No, she wasn't raped, but it reinforced my dislike of parties. I don't hold with alcohol or other drugs (other than like caffeine).. and that reminds me of Maggie as well. Blargh. Life's interesting, isn't it? And I'm thinking about Maggie too much, but that should fix itself right quick, since I don't see her and barely ever talk to her anyway. Though I'm giving her an LJ, so we'll see.

We visited the cemetary before leaving, as we always do. Visited two graves; a year and a half ago, it was just one. Before we moved, none. We visited my grandfather's (on my mother's side) first (he was the reason I was crying that morning, as Tenshi knows and Kiwi wanted to), then went to visit my grandmother's (on my father's side). People put pennies on the gravestones, but I hung back and found a stone to put on both. The headstones are nice.. Grandpa's is nicer, but I think that's because it needed to be bigger, to accomodate for my grandmother when she passes. My family was talking while we were standing around Grandpa's grave; they're not allowed to plant trees - the rules don't permit it. We saw a few planted; the small ones weren't bad, but the ones that had already been there for a bit and had grown would get to be a problem if everyone did it. They were saying how it was impossible to move through a cemetary in Donetsk (Ukraine, where I hail from) because of the mess of stuff that people have put up. So while the small trees look nice, they're not the best idea.

I wish we could do cuts inside of cuts.. This is just some information about timing that I don't think any of you know.

My grandmother died on October 22, 1998. I started school down here on October 1.. we had just moved. My dad had to go on a lot of business trips at first, before he switched jobs a bit, and he was to come back the night of the twenty-first. Grandma had called to check if he was back yet, but he wasn't; I talked to her some. When my father came home, he called her and talked to her as well. She woke up that night, suffocating, and couldn't get to her inhaler; her sister, who lived with her (the grandma that I've been talking about recently), couldn't get it to her on time. She suffocated to death.... awful way to go. Can you imagine trying to breathe in but just not being able to? Whenever you play around with it, there's always the relief that comes when you finally breathe in.. she couldn't; that relief never came. My mother woke me up early on the morning of the twenty-second (a Thursday, I remember) and told me to get ready, we were going to Rochester. I complained that I would be bored because I hadn't had time to prepare stuff to occupy me on the trip; she told me, "You won't be bored; Grandma just died." Well, that was a bit of a shock, to say the least. Later, analyzing that, I thought, "That wouldn't stop be from being bored," but I didn't think it was appropriate to argue it. At the funeral, my father and I were both thinknig the same thing: "I talked to her just last night..."

My grandfather died on January 4, 2002. We (parents and I) had recently returned from a trip to Fort Lauderdale, where my aunt and uncle have an apartment/condo-like thing. The trip was great, and I saw a cool picture of me on Saturday from Ft. Lauderdale, though I think that was from last winter, not that one. I had shorter hair; I need a haircut. That funeral was more emotional for me (sorry for jumping around). I had spent a lot more time with my grandpa; he helped raise me. He was the best man I've ever known. He had no enemies whatsoever; he was the best surgeon in Ukraine; he always helped people; he was always working with his hands, in his garage.. he would build so much fun stuff; I loved hanging out in his garage. He'd give me kidney beans and spring water while I was there, which is why I developed a love for both. When he died, not less than 5doctors personally called on my grandmother to convey their condolences; he was loved at that hospital. Everyone called him Dr. Pesok out of respect for him, because they knew he was great - he never practiced in America, though he had some freedom with drugs and supplies and stuff because he was licensed. I was asked to speak by my grandmother, but I couldn't; I just can't do stuff like that, and I wouldn't have known what to say. Those that spoke covered so much more than I ever could have, and they did it much more eloquently than I would have. He told Alex and me his life story once, less than a year before he died.. it was a beautiful, and sad, story. I'm sure I'll post more on it later sometime. When we were standing around his grave later, for the unveiling of the tombstone, I went around and comforted a lot of people; by this time, I was a littie more mature. I wished Maggie was there to see me. ::shrug:: Silly things.

A couple weeks after that, Maggie broke up with me. Just a random tidbit, I suppose. I knew she would for about a week; nothing ever lasts, ne? Not life, not love, not anything. The stones endure, and we humans are doing our best to destroy those as well. "People come and go; emotion is fleeting. Stone is stable, so that is what I shall become."

If, by some miracle, I actually do bring about the creation of some way to stay alive for a long, long time, you have to take it with me, Tenshi. I couldn't go to your funeral; it would kill me.

I don't mind the sun sometimes
The images it shows
I can taste you on my lips
And smell you in my clothes

Whoa, just realized where I put that. That's unrelated, believe me.

Tomorrow should be fun. More fu if I finish all my work, though (Thank you, DC to AC power inverters! :P Very helpful when you need power to run your ibook!)

It's fun to see all the traffic going north while we're going south. Everyone went south cuz it was cold; we were smart, we went north. ^_^

Haha, it's funny when a cop pulls out righ tbehind you. (Whoa, that sounds interesting. :P) It always freaks Dad out to see cops.. well, freaks me out too, but I know that it shouldn't. :P And we just saw a white car with enough dirt on the back that someone wrote "God bless America" with their finger, and it was visible. It's symbolic, really - Out of hte dirt rises patriotism.


I typed all the above on a sticky as we started back to Richmond; I had a long list of stuff written on my hand (almost 15 items) to cover, and I wanted to just do it then so that I wouldn't forget, though I had to retype it all anyway. Constant access to my LJ would be great.. though it would result in many, many very short posts. This is my longest post by far.. reminds me of every one of Alexusi's posts. :P And, weird as it may seem, I think having "clicking" selected under trackpad options is what makes my mousepad go screwey on my ibook - I turned it on, and it started acting up; turned it off, and it stopped. Weird.. (Oops, nope, it started acting up while I didn't have it selected. Guess that wasn't it.)

Oh, and I added an interest to my list; "Some people play tennis, I erode the human soul."

Nobody called while I was gone, and I left my number and everything! Local call! I feel so unloved.. ;.; WHAAAA!!! NOBODY LOOOOOOOVES MEEEEEEEEE!!! ;.;!!!!!

We stopped by the Wegmans in Pennsylvania that we always stop by when we're going back home. I was talking to my mom about the new wegmans in Rochester (okay, so it's 5 or 6 years old.. I still think of it as the new Wegmans, and Mom said that it was probably still the newest_ cuz they've got an awesome candy department with a toy train going around above it and everything, and I said we should stop in next time we go up, and she agreed. And right then, we walked by the candy department of the Wegmans that we were in. It wasn't as cool, but that's what I love about Wegmans - they have tons of candy, and a good chunk of it is all together, so you don' thave to wander around looking for it! You just go to the candy department and drool! :D

And yeah, we're gonna go shopping for boots for me either this weekend or next, so if someone wants to come with me that knows what Fuma's boots look like, that'd be a great help. AMA's in two and a half weeks!! WOOHOO!! Though it'll suck when I leave to go work, but what can ya do? Well, besides take the time off.. I need the money cuz I have a crapload of stuff to buy for July - 6 occasions to buy presents for! Everything in my family happens in July, and then a bunch of my friends decided to up and make things more difficult by being born in there too! Grr! So inconsiderate! So yeah, everyone's getting cheap 5 dollar gifts. XPPP

Apparently, it's prohibite to smoke in restaurants in New York now. That's so cool! And so Phillip Morris is moving back to Richmond, which is great, cuz that's more business for us.

And darn.. stupid thoughts.. connections that I don't want made... sigh. Poopie. Why can't people just stay away from drugs? THEY'RE BAD FOR YOU, PEOPLE! BAD! ::smacks people's hand:: PUT THEM DOWN! THEY'LL KILL YOU! If I don't get to you first.. ::grr::

Oh, and a fun thing from last night, especially when taken out of context - Maggie said I taste funny. XP (She bit me.. why, I don't remember. but it's a fun quote to take out of context: "You taste funny.")

HAHAHAHA!! Coming around the turn from Pump onto Ridgefield, I saw a white truck with the license plate "KSQUARD"!!! XDDDDDD!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! (It's a statistics joke. If you don't get it, don't worry about it. :P) Someone remind me tomorrow to tell Dr. Lamb!!

And NOOOOOOO!!! There's someone else with my interest on there! WHAAAAA!!!

2 matches:

deg_obsessed - MEGA-DOOMER
zimdanen - Pet Vampire

And, finally (maybe), I'm gonna talk to Rick and see if I can't start an RPG on his board. ^_^

Damn, Dad just told me everything he's been working on burned out at work. He's going to work right now to check it out. He put in 140 hours in the 8 days before we left.. and it all burned out. He doesn't seem very upset, but .. Jesus Christ! I hope it won't be a problem to fix, because.. he definitely does not need to work that much again. They do it twice a year to set up for new projects, and he doesn't get paid extra for it because he's on salary. But he shouldn't have to replace everything, right? =/

Whee fledgeling! She signed up while I was doing stuff. :)

Oh, and dammit, I have to work on Friday.. I was really hoping I wasn't going to have to. ::sigh:: Dammit! >.<

I'm gonna go on either the 7th or the 8th to VCC to pick up a collar from Hot Topic (and mebbe play DDR); Tenshi, Tatsu, Afton, Slater, up for it? ^_^ (Hmm. It'll suck if I don't find a collar that I like. I may end up getting a crappy one just so that I have one for AMA and then go out and find a better one later. Hmmmmm. And I need someone to carry it, though I have someone in mind; we'll see if they say yes.)

And ya know, I really don't want to talk about things not lasting. If I make a comment about it, it's just a passing comment, and I don't want to think about it again. It's not a happy thing to talk about, and it's definitely not something that I want to have to defend.

Hmm. When did Tenshi tell me I was her best friend?
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