Enclosed you will find my 2005 tax return showing that I owe
$3,407.00 in taxes. Please note the attached article from the USA Today
newspaper; dated 12 November, wherein you will see the Pentagon
(Department of Defense) is paying $171.50 per hammer and NASA has
$600.00 per toilet seat.
I am enclosing four (4) toilet seats (valued @ $2,400) and six (6)
hammers valued @ $1,029), which I secured at Home Depot, bringing
my total remittance to $3,429.00. Please apply the overpayment of
$22.00 to the "Presidential Election Fund," as noted on my return.
You can do this inexpensively by sending them one (1) 1.5" Phillips Head screw (see
aforementioned article from USA Today newspaper detailing how H.U.D. pays $22.00 each for 1.5" Phillips Head Screws). One screw is enclosed for your convenience.
It has been a pleasure to pay my tax bill this year, and I look
forward to paying it again next year.
A Satisfied Taxpayer