Madcap (zimdanen) wrote,
Madcap
zimdanen

I'm sure you've all read this one before, but..

A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man
opposite her was smiling at her.

She Immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into
a
grin, so she moved again.

The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, he laughed out
loud she had the man
arrested.

The case came up in court. The judge asked the man about (20 years old)
what he had to say for himself.

The man replied, "Well your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got
on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat under a
sweets sign that said, 'The Double Mint Twins are Coming' and I
grinned.

Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, '"Logan's Liniment will
reduce the swelling', and I had to smile.

Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, 'William's
Big
Stick Did the Trick,' and I could hardly contain myself.

But, your Honor, when she moved the fourth time and sat under a sign
that said, 'Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this accident'... I
just lost it."


edit: FEMALE PRAYER

Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.
Amen.

MALE PRAYER


I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs
who owns a liquor store and a bass boat. This doesn't
rhyme and I don't give a shit.

Amen.


You are Bahamut!
You scored 2 good or evil, 3 spirituality, 8 power, and 20 intelligence!

Do you hear that? Something on the horizon stirs a cyclone from thin
air, clouds boil and darken, the air grows chill as an unmistakeable
sound pierces the air. The clouds part and a stream of pure white light
streaks the sky, obliterating anything it touches, sparking countless
explosions and drawing both gasps of terror and screams of agony in
chorus. Granted, Bahamut has been known to play both sides, but he's
usually on the side of good. He's extremely old, very wise, and lacking
none of the power he wielded long ago. Basically he's a demi-god, but
for our purposes he's the embodiment of all the best traits -
intelligence, spirit, strength and good. Appearing in practically every
single Final Fantasy in some form or other, Bahamut is synonymous with
not only power, but strength of will, wisdom and strength of character.
I must applaud you, test taker, for you are in a class all your own. If
you really measure up to Bahamut's impressive list of attributes,
you're alright in my book.



My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
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You scored higher than 42% on purity
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You scored higher than 23% on faith
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You scored higher than 51% on strength
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 75% on intelligence
Link: The Who are you in the FF Universe Test written by Helbereth on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test
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