Madcap (zimdanen) wrote,

I am nothing.

I am nothing because you are still the most important person in the world to me, and the only reason that I'm always down is because I still don't know how to be around you. All I want is to know how to act so that I don't get upset with you, and so that you don't get upset with me, but every time I try, I fail, and I never stop trying, and I never stop failing. I just want to be friends and be able to hang out with you and enjoy your company like before but all we do is bicker and I hate it. And it's my fault, because I'm so stupid and worthless.

And so I go to cry in bed for another night, because I screwed up again. Like I always do. I really don't know why I bother. If I could forget all the good stuff, I'd stop, but it's sunk in and I can't claw it out. It hurts to try to claw it out..

And I have no doubt that this post is yet another mistake to add to my long chain of them. One right after the other, like always.
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