Madcap (zimdanen) wrote,

Why am I so stupid? And so dependent. At this point in life, I should be able to function on my own, I'd think. And yet I pick someone and latch on. Still. I haven't changed; same problems as before, I have them now. So what am I supposed to do? I haven't been able to change, though I see what it does to myself and my relationships with other people. Kendall said, "Try harder." Not very useful advice.

So, what now? I'm back where I always am. Depressive, obsessive, stupid. Needy. Clingy. I hate myself. This is a main reason why I try to stick to reason and material goals; whenever any sort of emotion enters into anything, I lose anything that might make me at all valuable as a person. As I am right now, I'm worthless to everyone. And every time I feel better, I ignore what I think when I'm down. So it just perpetuates.

I seriously wish something would happen to distance me from everyone. Nobody (other than my family) would care for very long; people don't tend to. They might remember me from time to time, but it wouldn't be anything major.

Well, I.. don't really have anything else to say, I suppose. Umm.. have a good day, all.
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