Madcap (zimdanen) wrote,

"Blar. It's hard to think of how to stick within the metaphor. Life sucks. I wish I could feel. Properly. I wish I could just be real with people and have real friends again and not have to cry alone and not let anyone see. I wish I could stop hiding behind fake fucking arrogance and just be me again. I wish I didn't blame this all on Melissa, but I do, because I still think she did this to me. I wish a lot of fucking things that will never come true, so I don't see why I should give a flying fuck about the sky. All my wishes are worthless and I'm stuck down here."

Well. Look what welled up. >.> That's not supposed to happen.

Anyway.. keeping this public, either as a cry to someone or as an attempt to push them away. Not that they're not away anyway.. or something. Feel free to have a field day with comments on this one - no point in keeping them off. This should be interesting.


[01/04, 02:28] JimBob4554: Too dependent on people.
[01/04, 02:28] JimBob4554: ::shrug::
[01/04, 02:28] JimBob4554: I dunno.
[01/04, 02:28] JimBob4554: Trying to reach out to people to see what used to be the real me.
[01/04, 02:28] JimBob4554: Don't know why - won't accomplish anything.

moredit: Rereading that last paragraph, I guess I know what the problem is. Dammit. Definitely gonna be that push. Which is good, anyway, just not for me. :P But since I don't actually matter, it's okay.
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