It's always amusing when I'm lying in bed, and I look around, and I can see things, and my first thought is, "AHHFUCK, CONTACTS!"
Tehehe. *goes to take out contacts*
I normally don't like these, but this one's fucking funny.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
REAL FRIENDS: are the reason you have no food.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs
REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
REAL FRIENDS: Would sit next to you sayin "Damn ... we fucked up ... but that shit was fun!"
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: never seen you cry.
REAL FRIENDS: cry with you
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
REAL FRIENDS: keep your shit so long they forget its yours.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: know a few things about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Could write a book about you with direct quotes from you.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME!"
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Are for awhile.
REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Will knock them the fuck out
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you've had enough.
REAL FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say "Bitch drink the rest of that you know we don't waste."
So.. I have a new suit. It actually looks pretty good, but it needs to be tailored. Also, either that's not a 30 waist, or I've gotten extremely fat. But my other clothes don't feel more snug, so I'm guessing that it's not really a 30 waist.