December 6th, 2005


(no subject)

Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

This year I've been busy!

Last month I got in line at the supermarket at the same time as someone else and I didn't yield (-8 points). Last Saturday I ruled Asscrackistan as a cruel and heartless dictator (-700 points). Last week I bought porn for tatsuhamm (-10 points). In May I gave malconent a life-saving blood transfusion (50 points). Last Monday I gave shukun a wet willie, then I took it back (-5 points).

Overall, I've been naughty (-673 points). For Christmas I deserve a spanking!


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(no subject)

Dear Mr. Adams,

I read comedian Bill Maher's new book and he says if we reduced our oil consumption by less than 3% we wouldn't need any oil from countries that support terrorism! Please ask your readers to use less energy.



Dear Monkey,

Someday we really must get together and compare our Nobel Prizes in economics. It seems to me that if we use 3% less oil, the evil oil-producing countries will raise prices to make up the difference, and they'll be able to fund terrorism a few more years before running out of oil. Therefore, if you're not already driving an SUV, the terrorists have won.

Okay, okay, there are plenty of good reasons to conserve energy, such as saving the environment. I'm just saying there are two things you can't learn from Bill Maher: 1) Advanced economics as it relates to geopolitical power, and 2) Hairstyle.