November 9th, 2005


Your daily dose of morning funny.

Quast> bbg: homosexuality isn't a badge you get after you fuck a guy in the ass for the first time
Quast> or get it yourself
xooz98> which badge do you get again?
xooz98> the boy scouts system is so complicated

Chronic Munchies: imagine if anne frank had a BLOG instead of a DIARY
Chronic Munchies: currently listening to: nazis pounding on the door
GenAmonX2K: Current Mood: concentrating

chris> ontario, canada is one of the only places in the world where you can marry a fag but you can't smoke one

timmo> 20% of americans believe the sun revolves around the earth, 17% of the people who know that the earth revolves around the sun, believe it does so every 24hours
timmo> jesus
timmo> people are fucking morons
wind`> wait what
wind`> doesn't the earth revolve around the sun in 24 hours?
timmo> well i guess we found one of the 17%

Lucius: so im stuck hangin out with this emo kid
Lucius: he goes up to this hot girl and says "hey baby, what are you doing lateR?"
Lucius: she turns to him and goes "boy, i already have a pussy, i dont need another one" and walks away
Lucius: i couldnt stop laughing
Lucius: then he gets this sad look and tells me to shut up
Lucius: i calmly pull out my sharpie and draw a tear on his cheek
Lucius: he literally shrieks and runs away

Promisemememphis: there was a girl in one of my bio teachers classes and they had to put a cotton swab in their mouth and look at the slide
Promisemememphis: he went to look at hers because she saw something moving and told her it was a sperm
Promisemememphis: which meant that she'd just given some guy head in lunch like fifteen minutes before hand
Promisemememphis: he wouldn't let her leave the class either

(no subject)

The husband and wife go to a counselor after 25 years of marriage. The counselor asks them what the problem is, and the wife goes into a tirade, listing every problem they have ever had in the 25 years they've been married. She goes on and on and on.
Finally, the counselor gets up, goes around the desk, embraces the woman and kisses her passionately.
The woman shuts up and sits quietly in a daze. The counselor turns to the husband and says, "That is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do that?"

The husband thinks for a moment and replies, "Well, I can get her here Monday and Wednesday, but Friday I golf."

edit: Judge not by actions, but by thy heart's intentions.
  • Current Mood
    tired tired