February 19th, 2005

cut me open

(no subject)

I fucked up. Horribly.

I should have left well enough alone. I did so well Wednesday.

I fucked up. It was a mistake. I can hope forgiveness - but I don't believe that it would truly come. I have no doubt the words could come easily enough - but not the actual forgiveness.

If I had a chance before, I don't now. Maybe the future will bring a very good friendship.

If there are tears in your eyes, dry them. I am sorry for your discomfort, and I am sorry for the night. My apology is as heartfelt a one as you will ever encounter - as is and has been everything else.

I will care for you always - in such the way that you hate; that I will actually wish for and work toward your wellbeing. If ever you have need to call on me, please do; I would like to feel useful and wanted.

Have a night, all. Perhaps the morrow will bring a change in things - paths cross, twist, move on, and end, always - who knows what step in a path one may be?

If any of you talk to her, be a good friend, and supportive - I've failed to be such, and she may need one, even if she doesn't admit it.

Sometimes, it's hard to see where the right path ended and you lost the way, and sometimes, the damage done is irreparable.

edit: And I should have made sure she believed me. Ha. I'm such an idiot.


Considering going to the Guard competition up at Herndon.

If I'm going, I'll be leaving in about half an hour so that I can get there in time to see Godwin perform.