It's sad to see my first girlfriend spiral. I wonder if she would be turning out better if she stayed with me, or if it would have even made a difference - as she's still back in Rochester, I don't know that I could have done anything over the distance. However, as at least part of the foul influence on her has been boys, it's possible that staying with me would have helped her out.
But such is life. Consequences come for all actions. I'm sorry to see it happen, but I don't see that I can do much at the moment.
And so it all ends, back to life as usual. Almost. ::shrug:: It was an interesting week, full of failure, not that that means much anyway.
New year, new beginnings. Not off to a good one with the first one, but it's bound to get better, right? Man, if college turns out like this, I'm fucked.
Just kinda rambling, I guess. I'm cold. I don't know if I'm gonna step out of the house tomorrow yet, other than for work, of course. If I do, I'll call a few people, see if they wanna come or whatnot. ::shrug::
I think I figured something out. Cold = shivering = loss of control. That relates to something, but I don't think I'll share it with you.
Swirling chaos midst the dreams;
Dreaming silent splits the streams;
Feeling shooting high and wide
From emptiness that reigns inside.
A flower, bent and broken hue,
To signify the end of new
Dreams and hopes and wintertimes
Buried in forgotten rhymes.
Silent screams and photographs,
Pictures of untaken paths,
Helpless lying and alone,
Sitting by unringing phone.
Chocolate lies and memories,
Nothing more to them than these.
Streams like ribbons flowing down,
Gentle streams without a sound,
Streams of life and memory,
Flowing to the ground from me.
Hollowed halls and noble names,
Ripped from me by countless shames,
Scorn and screech at fading life,
Taken by a sharpened knife.
Grass and flowers, day by day,
Cover the mound in which I lay,
Memories lost on life's dead shore,
Think of me, no, nevermore.
"Hi, may I please speak to Jeff?"
"Uhh, there is that possibility."
Was a pretty decent day by current standards - gamed a bit online, then went to play DDR at Tenshi's (much fun - was collapsing and panting all over the place - most consecutive DDR I've ever done - yet again considering getting DDR even though I don't have time for it; will probably do so once the workout room is finished), worked, then had dinner with Jeff. ::shrug:: Not a bad day.
edit: Probably going to game long into the night, and I have to do my homework tomorrow, since I've done about none of it and I have a lot. That's not so cool.
The beginning of .. something .. that I was working on earlier today while the "creative" (but actually very not creative) mood was upon me:
Everything's so overrated
Life? Ain't nothin' but a dream
So if you wanna hear me scream
Yeh. :P The fourth line works both ways.
edit: [01/02, 23:58] Starlightpiper: That'd look good to colleges. Send it afterwards. :) "You were waitlisted." "I just published a book." "...we must've misread."
We're talking about stuff 'n' things. >D