July 22nd, 2003

Sano

COURT DOCKET 12659---CASE OF THE PREGNANT LADY

A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, She complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.

The case came up in court. The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself.
The man replied, "Well your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat under a sign that said, "The Double Mint Twins are coming" and I grinned. Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, "Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling", and I had to smile. Then she placed herself under a sign that said, "William's Big Stick Did the Trick", and I could hardly contain myself. BUT, your Honor, when she moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said, "Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident"...I just lost it.

"CASE DISMISSED!!"
Sano

Hehe.

[ x ] What do you want done with your body when you die? I want my body to be desecrated repeatedly by necrophiliacs.

Sorry, couldn't resist. ^^;;;;;;
Sano

Slightly unDemocratic sentiments, methinks.

Subject: Democrats' tax cuts
If you don't understand the Democrats' version of tax cuts (and you are not alone), this will help explain it for you:
50,000 people go to a baseball game, but the game was rained out. A refund was then due. The team was about to mail refunds when the Congressional Democrats stopped them and suggested that they send out refund amounts based on the Democrat National Committee's interpretation of fairness. After all, if the refunds were made based on the price each person paid for the tickets, most of the money would go to the ticket holders of the most expensive tickets. That would be unconscionable.
The DNC plan says:
People in the $10 seats will get back $15, because they have less money to spend. Call it an "Earned" Income Ticket Credit. Persons "earn" it by demonstrating little ambition, few skills and poor work habits, thus keeping them at entry-level wages. People in the $25 seats will get back $25, because that's only fair.
People in the $50 seats will get back $1, because they already make a lot of money and don't need a refund. If they can afford a $50 ticket, then they must not be paying enough taxes.
People in the $75 luxury seats will have to pay another $50, because they have way too much to spend.
The people driving by the stadium who couldn't afford to watch the game will get $10 each, even though they didn't pay anything in, because they need the most help.
Now do you understand? If not, contact Representative Richard Gephardt or Senator Tom Daschle for assistance.
Sano

(no subject)

Got my filling done without any drugs. ::grins:: Whee! :D Then Guard was fun; didn't do much work. We did drop spins for half the time, and when I went aside with Rita at first so that she could teach anything I didn't know to me, she was impressed and gratified that I already knew how to do them, both left and right. ^_^ So she didn't have to do any work with me. I felt good. :D I had practiced left drop spins a bit during the tryouts, which is why I knew them, but I couldn't get them that well. Then, toward the end, band people started showing up cuz they've got something or other, so that was awesome, since I know half the band. ::grin:: Fun! :D I invited a few more people to the movie Thursday.

Gonna try to get my wrapping paper back from Raleigh; gotta call her and see if I can stop by since she's not online. And hashing out coming up with Amanda right now. Gotta tell work when I can't work next month today as well.
  • Current Music
    the rain
Sano

Ha!

Gonna go up to Amanda's for the 1st to the 4th.

Went to Raleigh's to pick up the wrapping paper. The light at Gaskins and Three Chopt was out, so I was gonna go all the way down Pemberton to get back, but there was an accident or something a little bit down, so that was out. Had to turn around and go back. (Ha!)

While at Raleigh's, for the whole five seconds that I was there, her sister started chanting, "Kissy kissy kissy!" o.0 Probably cuz I keep calling her, but the phone really is a useful way to get in touch with people, I swear! You should try it sometime (::cough tenshi cough::).

Gave my days off at work.. actually, gave them to a server who'll give 'em to Jason when he's slighly less busy. I'm out for a good chunk of next month, but since I only get scheduled weekends anyway, it's not as bad as it seems. Though I'll make even less money next month than normal, and normal's close enough to piddly as to make no nevermind! Gah! ::sigh:: And after tomorrow, I'm gonna owe my parents a lot more money cuz of Guard fees. ::sighs more:: Can't wait till we sell the house and I'm out of debt.... >.Carytown</i>! (No comments from Jeff; that was just that one mistake, and that was just cuz I didn't want to lose you. Shut up.)

I ate a lot for breakfast (~3:15), and that's about all I've eaten today. Since I wasn't home while my family had dinner, I can get away with saying, "I'll eat when I'm hungry." So I'll eat again later, but meal count for today will be low since I normally eat in the middle of the night anyway.

Gonna go out to lunch with Bobby tomorrow; Mom gave me $14 for it (couldda gotten more if I had asked, but I think I can handle myself on $14 and still have some to spare). And I'll wheedle some money out of her for lunch with Katie. Game's gonna be at my house on Saturday from 2 to 7, but if someone calls to say they're coming to look at the house, we're gonna have to hightail it out onto the deck till they're gone. Gotta work out rides with Jeff and Ben. After that, we're gonna go out to dinner with Bobby and his family.

I've promised to give a couple people the $2 difference between matinee and evening show for the movie on Thurs. ::sighs:: If I'm not the most generous person I know, then I either need to give out more or less money, cuz if I don't get the title, then I'm gettin' pretty much nothin' outta this.

If anyone's allowed to see R movies but is underage, I should be able to get you your ticket if you want to go, as long as you give me the cash. We're seeing Bad Boys II at 7:40 on Thurs. I'm not gonna go out and invite underage people, because doing so is just more hassle for myself and my mom.