"If you can't do it with a sword, do it with a fireball. If you can't do it with a fireball, it isn't worth doing."
Real Men Don't Play GURPS (or Vampires, for that matter)
The Tale of Eric and the Dread Gazebo
The Usenet Poster
The Usenet Monk
The Toilet Cleaner
"When it comes time to fix a program like this, no manager would even think of sending anything less than a Real Programmer to do the job-- no Quiche Eating structured programmer would even know where to start. This is called 'job security'."
Real Programmers Don't Use Pascal