Madcap (zimdanen) wrote,

The Purim story retold in a modern international tone:

"King Achashverosh was Finnish with with his disobedient wife Vasthi. 'You Congo now!' he ordered her. After she had Ghana way, the king's messengers went Roman the land to find a new queen. And India end, the beautiful Esther won the crown. Meanwhile, Mordechai sat outside the palace, where the Chile Haman would Czech up on him daily. 'I Hait you because you refuse to bow to me!' Haman scolded Mordechai. 'USA very stubborn man. You Jews are such Bahamas! If you keep this up, Denmark my words! I will have all your people killed! Just Kuwait and see, you Turkey!' Mordechai went into mourning and tore his clothes -- a custom known as Korea.

He urged Esther to plead with the king. The Jews fasted for three days and grew very Hungary. Esther approached the king and asked, 'Kenya Belize come to a banquet I've prepared for you and Haman?' At the feast, she invited her guests to a second banquet to eat Samoa. The king asked, 'Esther, why Jamaica big meal like this? Just tell me what you want. Unto half my United Kingdom will I give you.' Esther replied, 'Spain full for me to say this, but Haman is Russian to kill my people.' Haman's loud Wales could be heard as he carried Honduran this scene. 'Oman!' Haman cried bitterly. 'Iraq my brains in an effort to destroy the Jews. But that sneaky Mordechai -- Egypt me!' Haman and his ten sons were hanged and went immediately to the Netherlands. And to Sweden the deal, the Jews were allowed to Polish off the rest of their foes as well. 'You lost your enemies and Uganda friend,' the king smiled. And that is why the Purim story Israeli a miracle. G-d decided to China light on His chosen people. So now, let's celebrate! Forget all your Syria's business and just be happy! Serb up some wine and Taiwan on!"

Happy Purim, everyone!

Every Jewish holiday pretty much boils down to, "They tried to kill us; we won; let's eat."
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